Lori thinks there'd be less tension in their marriage if there were more sexual intimacy in it. The Barretts' and Cummings' problems aren't surprising to Davis, who's been counseling couples for two decades and is author of Sex-Starved Marriage. The couple says their renewed intimacy has brought other benefits. Suzan and Chris Cummings have been married for six years. During their session with Davis, Suzan told Chris, "I don't understand how you can you love me, and not be there for me physically. How you could let me feel that way about myself? But even that can feel so invasive and ego crushing to some. Don't Ignore the Problem There are many factors that can cause low desire in men, say the experts.
Believe it or not, many men are extremely insecure when it comes to sexual prowess. Start a new hobby. Over-the-counter drugs to remember are those used for coughs, colds and allergies. Hormonal issues also play a role in this frustrating drama — lowered testosterone levels can add to the vicious cycle. He says sex has simply never been a high priority for him. And to have it turned down over and over repeatedly says you have no value as a sexual being. Don't Ignore the Problem There are many factors that can cause low desire in men, say the experts. Pacific time at 1. Davis says it's important for high-desire partners like Lori to understand that some people just have low sex drives and her husband is probably one of them What Jim has to do, she says, is to act sexually toward Lori even at first if he's not in the mood for sex. This villain is making its evil influence felt in the lives of an increasing number of otherwise respectable Christian men and women. Suzan says she used to try reaching out to Chris sexually, but she's given that up. If she weren't so critical, Jim says, he might be turned on to his wife. Now it's been 15 months since they've had sex. He knows it hurts Suzan. But trust me, as the wife of a physician, I can promise you: Susan says sex was infrequent before Connor was born and afterward, Chris seemed less and less interested. Pornography and sex addiction. Perhaps you and your spouse need to do some soul-searching. Chris hasn't initiated sex with Suzan in about three years and he says it's gotten to the point he's afraid to initiate any physical contact with Suzan. Ironically, sexual release through porn addiction and self-stimulation, combined with deep feelings of guilt over a secret, double life, often lead to the development of a kind of "sexual anorexia. It's been very, very hard. How would you encourage a couple going through this right now? He's broke," he said. He tried Viagra, but it didn't work. Play a card game. Lori and Jim both say it's usually Lori who's on Jim's case.
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